The Speed of Love

What is this thing called “love at first sight”?
Which can be born of meaningful conversation
And the realization of two like minds
As easily as the unexpected meeting
Of eyes that become fixed in a singular gaze
And cannot see anything else in the room.
Is it not the experience that we long for
When we seek romance within the arts?
Is it not the amorous dream of most people?

But why then
When we find such bliss
Do we perceive excess speed
When we have simply lived the moment
And why does it feel so overwhelming
That we often feel the need to run from it?

Is it because the feelings come so fast
And we cannot control the natural urge
To bond with someone so closely
Because we are pack animals
And we have a natural desire
To be in a protective union
Regardless of the cautious instructions
Giving to us by those
Who may have failed at it
And settled for less?

Or is it because                  
Most have felt it with someone
Who did not reciprocate
And the memory fills us with fear
Because no one wants to experience
The desolate humiliation
Of unrequited love
And the pity of those who care for us?

Wisdom says that if we do not control that fear
It will undermine the pursuit of future love
Because fear is self-actualizing
So when we fear losing something
We take actions that fail us
And increase the likelihood of losing it.

Like when we pull back from a new love interest
When it feels so good
That we trip into the mental ruse
That its velocity is somehow wrong
And fills us with uncertainty
Or self-doubt
Or questioning the balance of another
Where the knowledge
That it is better to have love and lost
Than never to have loved at all
Becomes clouded by that fear
Until you cannot see anything but danger
And it’s weight overwhelms you
And you run screaming from it
Leaving only regrets behind

But like everything in life
Only a small portion
Of what happens to us in life
Is caused by what happens.
Almost all of our experience
Comes from how we choose to react to life
So if we choose to stay focused
On the light that is found in its promise
And reject the fear that envelopes it in darkness
We can help the sapling of new love to grow
Instead of depriving it of sunlight
And watching it die in solitary gloom.

How many more love stories
Would we have to celebrate
If more could learn
To reject the love eclipse
And instead
Embrace the light that shines
From the tender branches of the sapling
And nourish it with trust in ourselves
And in the beauty that we see in another?

This question I cannot answer
But I can answer for myself
That no more will I run from potential
And I will stand firm
When presented with opportunity
So that I may grow that sapling
Into a mighty tree
That will provide shade
When the sun is too strong
And provide shelter
When it rains
And provide wood for a fire
When I need warmth
And provide fruit
When I need nourishment

And for all who read these words
I would wish that together
We can grow a new forest
And create a new world
Filled with love
Instead of fear.

by David Stein
March 11, 2014

© 2014 by David Stein.  All rights reserved.